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Vasomotor instability

A fancy term for blush. I will blush at just about anything. I will blush at the thought that I might blush. I will blush at the thought that thinking I might blush might make me blush. In fact, I’m blushing right now, and it is SO disconcerting. In the dead of winter, co-workers or whoever will ask me, "em, did you get some sun?" What I want to say is "No God dammit I just can't not blush!" but instead I just shake my head 'nope' and wish to God everyone would stop staring at me.

I guess it could be worse. What if our random bored/mean/salacious thoughts manifested in an obvious physical way? What if random thoughts about sex suddenly made your lips become engorged? How embarrassing would that be, sitting in a meeting and your lips suddenly ballooned up? *Mush Mouth voice* “Hey-ba Boss-ba, can I-ba be excused-ba?” Gad. And every time you thought about masturbating, your palms would turn a rosy shade of pink. Imagine, like wearing the scarlet A, thoughts could manifest in some semi-indicative manner. Now, that irrepressible thought--"ho boy, this is boring"--causes a fit of yawns. And "I really really don't like you" might make your eyeballs turn a blaring shade of red. Admit to yourself "I have absolutely no idea what's going on" and you grow a pointy dunce head. Fall into ugly stereotyping and your face turns a rainbow of flesh tones. Let slip with "you're pretty but stupid" and BOING! ass ears. Silently react to some real fashion don'ts and BOING! cat ears. Ponder how to oust that unproductive dud that you work with and BOING! shark ears.

This sounded funny as hell in my head yesterday. HEE-HAW! HEE HAW!! Oh God, did that just come out of my mouth?

March 15, 2005 | Permalink

Comments

Sorry, struggling to type this, damned palms have swollen up again..:-)

Posted by: Co-lin | March 16, 2005 at 02:41 AM

Describe shark ears to me

Posted by: Hopeless | March 16, 2005 at 05:43 AM

hee-ba, you-ba funny co-lin-ba.

i believe they're holes, hopeless. sad but true.

Posted by: em | March 16, 2005 at 07:42 AM

if your palms swelled every time someon thaught baout sex, then there would be alot of very large glove sales.

Posted by: wedge | March 16, 2005 at 08:11 AM

wow, the mitten industry would be huuuge!!

Posted by: em | March 16, 2005 at 09:13 AM

I blush when I think about old memories that made me blush in the first place.

I hate it when you can remember embarrassing moments from your past that you can STILL remember and which STILL make you blush.

Bwah!

Posted by: Pauly D | March 16, 2005 at 11:25 AM

It is funny...and very clever too. I could envision a Harry-Potter like screen play...

Posted by: Diann | March 16, 2005 at 05:36 PM

I blush, and then my walk gets self conscious so I look like a bright red nervous heron. Still interested in the book group?

Posted by: Johnny the Horse | March 16, 2005 at 06:46 PM

I'm picturing you naked.

(blushing yet?)

Posted by: Scott | March 17, 2005 at 09:40 AM

I don't change color that easilly. I don't often blush, or bruise, etc.

Posted by: wedge | March 18, 2005 at 07:27 AM

I may as well be a tomato, I blush so easily. Fills up from top to bottom like a thermometer

Posted by: Dyna Girl | March 19, 2005 at 11:32 AM

laughing here too
my =cheeks go really red when i'm drinking, they must have been really red last night!

Posted by: lou lou | March 21, 2005 at 03:53 AM

Actually, I have vasomotor instability. My extremities (fingers and toes) turn purple in the cold and red in warmer conditions. And I don't mean they look tinted, they ARE bright eggplant purple or cherry red. Not fun at all and I look like my toes are dead or something. It doesn't hurt much (just a little numb) but I did stopped showing my feet at first because I was insecure.

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