They pop out of my mouth unbidden--jokey remarks tweaking my own foibles, knuckleheaded maneuvers, and clumsy pratfalls.
One faction in the personal em advisory cabinet declares repeatedly that I need to stop any and all non-self-reinforcing talk. It sets a tone. And as it turns out, certain junior elements in the professional em editorial support crew have become skillful in anticipating my self-referential teasing and *beat me to the punch.* So instead of me turning a humorous phrase on my own forgetfulness, I get scooped while assistant #4 cracks wise, "em, memory banks filled up with more important trivia?" ha ha haaaaa. so funny. BOING! Uh oh, the shark ears again.
I guess assistant #4 is on to me. I forget reams and reams of things. Important things. Assistant #4 really has no idea just how much I have forgotten. *wags finger* In fact, I've forgotten more than assistant #4 will ever know! Yeah right. Assistant #4 knows better. In fact, assistant #4 probably knows that I keep forgetting to go to my mother's house to change the light bulbs in her kitchen. And that she has to get her dinner by the light of the open fridge door. That is just pathetic. Assistant #4 also probably knows that I left a gas burner in the 'on' position all day today while I was at work, so that when I got home tonight, the house was filled with the heavy/sweet stink/taste of natural gas fumes. That is bad. Really bad. So bad that it should have killed the parrot, Rummy, but somehow, it did not. Assistant #4 probably also knows that I . . .
Ah crap. I've got so many competing whacks to take at myself right now, I just don't know where to start/stop.
No! No! That is MY job, and I don't need any competition! Peple always end up asking why I am so hard on myself. And to think, I thought I was just cracking jokes. I think they're on to me, too.
Posted by: Dyna Girl | March 22, 2005 at 12:10 AM
As long as you dont forget to feed the kids or pay your taxes, noone will be coming after you. Depricate away.
Posted by: wedge | March 22, 2005 at 07:25 AM
Maybe one has one too many assistants?
Posted by: Greavsie | March 22, 2005 at 07:45 AM
just back away from the assistant Greavsie, and nobody gets hurt.
;-D
Posted by: em | March 22, 2005 at 10:46 AM
Who am I?
(thats how forgetful i am!)
Posted by: Southern Bird | March 22, 2005 at 05:19 PM