Petricide

I’m engaged in a fierce battle. Public Enemy #1: the new neighbor’s dog.

It’s a black-eyed multi-colored guerilla that barrages me with rapid-fire barks and attacks my ankles with the energy and wiles of an Iraqi insurgent. Every night, I quickly maneuver toward the back door, dodging this way, feinting that way as I outgeneral his efforts to topple me while I carry in the groceries. So now the evil genius has launched a new campaign. In the early morning hours, he silently slithers under the fence on his stomach commando-style and calculates the optimum placement for the day’s first poop-landmine. His poop-field strategically blankets the area on the lawn between my car and the back door. It’s an intricate maze that would challenge the best and the brightest Navy Seal, maybe even Tom Cruise as that Mission Impossible guy, but probably not Lara Croft.

I smell like poop again.

Doggie—5. Em—0.

Comments

[Dyna Girl]

walk with your hands in the air grwling and then bite that dog. Your neighbors will take one look at you and move!

[Dyna Girl]

hey....nice pic you added. has it been there, and i live under a rock? no matter. but i can't send you an email cuz your address is in my old account, cancelled! I hate earthlink. send me one and thennnnnnnnnnnnnn I'll have it! xoxoxox
p.s. cominng to jersey in the summer.

[em]

i've already sent you one--check your mail, girl!

[Em]

I still don't think that pic does you justice, em.

Have you considered returning all the pooch's "presents" to your neighbours? Or just shooting the bloody thing?

[em]

why thank you em2. :-)) yup, that pic has been up forever. may be time to update it with a fashionable new photo.

[wedge]

I think you should et up at the we hours of the morning and take a dump on your neighbors lawn. That will solve the problem real quick.

[Ian]

Dig a handy bear pit...