Cute or scary?

My friend at work, JK, is pure lollapalooza femme fatale. Divorced around the same time as me and about the same age, she got right out there and began a campaign of dating and discarding, dating and discarding. The woman has an amazing ability to attract guys—they swirl around her like tomcats. Me? I’m the broad they look through and around to stare at her. It’s a bit discouraging really, but I agreed to go with her to a picnic yesterday after work—a fundraiser held by the Trenton F!re Department to raise money for a comrade whose house just burned down. She was like, “don’t you want to go hang out with a bunch of big strapping firemen?” Well, yeah, but…

…I felt like an idiot. Half-drunk firemen of all ages were everywhere. They prowled around JK all evening, flirting and trying to make an impression. I stood by, invisible, and then took myself over to play quoits, a game similar to horseshoes that actually originated in Trenton I think. I played a few games with one of those strapping young firemen, had a few laughs, and then I went home. Ate some chili, watched some TV, and started to head upstairs to bed, when my doorbell rang, the doorbell at my *back* door, where the light bulb is out.

I snuck up on the door and peeked out the window, and there was my strapping young fireman! He wanted to play ping pong. Well, OK, I’m pretty much always up for a game. I quickly ran him around the basement in a show of ping pong skill, and in no time flat I had him out of his shirt—hey, this was strip ping pong, and I wasn’t about to take anything off. And a strapping young fireman he was indeed, but I was tired, so I shooed him home.

But the question nags—how in the world did this fool find my house? I didn’t tell him, of that I am sure. If he followed me, why’d he wait 2 hours to come to the door? Do firemen have access to addresses? I dunno, but I didn’t tell him my last name. So what’s the deal here?

Cute or scary?

Comments

[Pauly D]

Cute AND scary.

[.rz]

scary - i was wondering whose car that was and if it was someone you knew...didn't you ask him how he found you? that is really creepy

[Seanee]

That sexy girl from work must have told him.... Did you think of that?

[Ian]

Eek. Did you not think to ask him who gave your details?

It's got to be your friend.

Why'd he go to your back door?
He may well have been a nice guy Em; but don't go letting strangers in at any time of day.

Was he cute though? ;-)

[em]

i asked him and he blah blahed about finding my car. but 1, my car was parked well away in the back of the house. and 2, how'd he know what my car looked like? and 3, how'd he know where to even begin looking?? my L/FF coworker didn't tell him anything...i'm leaning toward scary i guess, but yes, he was beautiful!

[Jamie]

Kind of scary, but maybe that's because I've been stalked a couple of times.

My guess is that he looked you up in some firehouse-related way that's not 100 percent ethical, but didn't want to let on that that's how he did it.

Was he drunk? It might have seemed like a nice, nonthreatening idea to him if he was.

But anyhow, I'm glad nothing bad happened, and also that you had fun with him!

[Legomen]

Maybe you should've done best of five or played with your other hand or something. You might've extracted a bit more information then (or clothing!!) ;-)

The adage usually holds true that once is a bit of fun but twice is a bit more sinister..

[em]

yes, no more game-playing. i'll need to keep an eye out for him if he returns. .rz will help with this i hope.

Jamie, how do you tell when it's stalking, as opposed to something less sinister?

[Enigma]

that's a little scary. i've had 2 stalkers.. not fun.

first, i think you need to ask jk did she answer any questions about you for anyone as he could have had a buddy do the asking. if she did, give him your last name at the least, he easily could have gotten your address. he also could have gotten your address from your license plate. all he ad to do was call dispatch or have a cop do it.

[Jamie]

It's stalking if (check any of the below):

(1) They try to contact you one way "just to talk" and, when that doesn't work, try every conceivable other way in quick succession. Suddenly you have 30 e-mails, a bunch of IM prompts, 16 phone messages, a stickie on your door, and two "While you were out" notes at the office. Your neighbor wants to know who the weirdo was.

(2) They tell you they'd kill themselves if it weren't for you.

(3) They send you inappropriately lavish gifts at work, repeatedly, even though you ask them to stop.

(4) They become very possessive of you, even though you have never consented to any kind of relationship (or even though you asked them to slow things down). Meanwhile, you notice they seem extremely hostile toward their exes, and perhaps even have a restraining order on file against them.

(5) You find them in your house when you didn't let them in.

(6) They tell you about the creepy fantasies they have about you, and/or what your wedding would be like.

(7) You open the curtain and find them sitting outside, watching.

That should cover it. :-)

[Ms Jones]

So, what's a guy to do these days if he fancies someone? now remember he's a bloke and very very often they can't relate to what it's like being a female. I bet he just thought, she is cute, i had fun, i'm going to go round. in his eye it might have been romantic. He probably had no idea that this might seem somewhat threatening.

By all means be careful, watchful and cautious but maybe he just genuinely likes you and is a just a bit clumsy about it?

[lou lou]

oooh i think i'd be spooked, but he wasn't a complete stranger was he?
but then, i don't open the door to anyone at night lol I even crap myself when my hubby comes home sometimes

[em]

damn Jamie, that's terrifying. but did you get to keep the gifts? ;-)

ms jones, you put it in a different light--one that is also quite reasonable. maybe if he wasn't a complete stranger...altho now that i've checked out his chest...;-)

[Jamie]

Ms. Jones has an excellent point--it could be that he merely lacks a couple of social skills. Very possibly he just wanted to hang out with you.

And re: the gifts, yes. That was the one bright spot, I suppose. Stalker #2 was a civil war reenactor, and as a result I ended up with an 1860s sewing machine in beautiful condition, plus 16 yards of Thai silk.

[em]

nice giftage!

[frinds dating]

She gave all information, lol