Crime is sometimes a problem in my neighborhood

Quick story--late last week my neighbor down the street was standing next to his car in front of his house when he was approached by a group of teenagers—one of them hit him in the head with a ball peen hammer and another got him in the neck with a crowbar. Only then did they ask for his money. (You know, I’m not so sure I could hit someone in the head with a hammer if my life depended on it. Imagine the sound that must make. Ugh.) Anyway, I’m told these undesirables have been roaming the neighborhood all week robbing people, outside on the street and inside homes too. Apparently, they get in by knocking on the door and when you answer, they force their way in the door.

So with this in mind, please flash forward to Monday evening. I was home alone because my children were with their father, and yes I was feeling on edge. At about 8:30, I walked from the kitchen (where you can't hear people knocking on the door) back into the living room and I saw the shape of an adult male at my front door and thought "uh-oh, hope that's rz,..." and I grabbed the phone from the cradle as I walked to the door. My idea was that I’d pretend to be on the phone and anyone planning to force the door would immediately be deterred. Because I was on the phone. Or maybe I’d dial 911 really fast.

So I sidled up to the door and there stood a man with a black ski mask pulled down over his face, and yo, it's me, a pane of glass, and him. The alarm bells that went off were intensely visceral—my head blared the loudest white noise I’ve ever heard--I think if you stood next to me you would have heard it too, coming out my ears. And my heart exploded into big flopping chunks that jerked and jumped around in my chest cavity. I have no idea what my face looked like, but it must have been a sight, because the guy immediately took off the mask with his own look of fright, and I saw that it was my dopey neighbor, J, who thought he was being funny.

No kidding, it took like 30 minutes for the ripped sections of my heart to stop hurting. Now I know how people die of fright.

end of story.

Comments

[Seanee]

I only have one thing to say -- I am moving this summer !

[em]

no you're not. i won't let you.

[Jo]

aaaaaagh! that was scary and I was just reading about it!

[Hans]

ditto Jo, wow that was frightening !

[em]

yeah, when people say "my heart jumped" it's a true sensation. and it can do more than jump too.

[Daisy]

"thought he was being funny"???? I'm speechless.

[ellie]

I think you need to wear a Freddy mask and chase your neighbor around the yard with a ball peen hammer until he poops his pants, see how HE likes it.