Katie rides the bus to school now. The *long* bus people. sheesh. In fact, it’s probably at least 50 yards long. I, unfortunately, have to drive her to the bus stop--at the first hint of dawn--because she now attends public school in the school district where her father lives, and they ain’t sending a bus out Trenton-way. In fact, the district has an armed force of District Eligibility Officers who are tasked with keeping us po' folks out of their crapass schools. These guys lurk around school bus stops looking to snag Trenton parents trying to sneak their kids into the "good schools" out in the ‘burbs by pretending to live out that way. And there are penalties for this--expensive penalties: they bill you at the student per diem rate. Ouch.
According to district rules, however, Katie and Joe are eligible to attend school in the suburbs-they need only wake up in the district (at their father’s house) 3 mornings a week. But on the other 2 mornings, it’s a mad dash to the bus stop. On more than one occasion, we’ve hit the bus stop at 50 mph with doors flying, just as the bus driver collected the last kid at the stop onto the bus.And only once have we ended up out of position behind the bus and had to chase her to her next appointed stop. That bus driver knows how to giddyup those 50 yards of sleak yellow school bus on down the autobahn! The careening vehicle in her rearview was no distraction whatsoever. But now she's beginning to recognize my car as the lunatic white sedan that launches itself sideways under her front wheels, and she waits for Katie to tumble out and slink over to the bus with not the slightest hint of mortification.
Problem is that Katie's father has had his fill of Katie's fledgling puberty-fired ways, and he has delivered her back to me along with all of Katie's belongings, boxed, onto the floor of my house with a thump and a snarl. "Her behavior is UNACCEPTABLE!! She can't come back!!"
Whatever dude. Good thing I've got this whole Flying Under the Radar thing going, so if those District Commandos ever stake out her bus stop, they'll never notice us.