I can not stand being unemployed. Day after day of grinding anxiety over money, unpaid bills, the health of my children, the loss of my identity, the looming economic depression. Lately, I'm catching myself mentally making deals:
- Paying for parrot food: if I select the Donate $1.00 to Homeless Animals button at the PetSmart checkout then I will surely get a job tomorrow.
- Screeching to a halt on the Interstate, if I let that guy into traffic in front of me then the editor job is all mine.
- Accelerating into the final mile of a jog, if I maintain at least a 7 minute pace, then my phone will ring within the next 30 minutes with a job.
- Walking into the kitchen, if I tap the tip of my nose 3 times and spin around twice, then an amazing employment opportunity will shortly follow.
WTF is going on inside my head?